Make me Real
by ReddAlice
Summary: Released from the institution, Hitomi resumes high school forever changed, her body a marred reflection of her soul. After a jarring and tragic incident she opens the gate to Gaea once again. How will Van react to this oddly altered girl he once knew?
1. 00 I really went to Gaea didn't I?

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-Make me Real- 

-by ReddAlice

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**Author's Note**: _Argh!_ I am painfully aware of how new I am to writing fiction for this series, regardless of how many times I have watched the full series in Japanese and the movie. I'm generally a Gundam Wing A/C writer, but after reading my first and probably only Escaflowne fic I decided it was time I take a dip in this fic pool. I wonder how accepting everyone will be of my writing? I wonder if people here review as often as people over in GW thread.

Sorry, my AU is always long. If the code following the warning is unfamiliar to you please scroll to the very bottom of this chapter and read. I don't want you having any unwelcome surprises.

Warning: _Angst, DF, NC, Yaoi, Het, Lemon/Citrus Scenes, I switch between viewpoints and narration styles, etcetera blah etcetera blah. _ Disclaimer: (will add this one later, for now, I don't own any of the characters to Escaflowne I just sadistically abuse them.) Songs: Bring me to Life - Evanescence 

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Prologue:

"I really went to Gaea..._didn't I?_"

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The room was cold, nondescript, and impersonal, nothing at all like her bedroom back home. Hitomi swung her line of vision towards the door-shutting close, and listened to the nurses' walk away chattering. Why where they doing this to her? She was not insane; she was not a babbling idiot. She really went to Gaea...

Hitomi slid out of her worn sneakers, and slid under the blankets of her twin-sized bed; tears breaking free. Why didn't they believe her? She wasn't the type of girl to lie. She didn't deserve this.

"I really went to Gaea..._didn't I?_" Her mind drifted as sleep began to take hold of her, an unsettling shadow settling over her mind; one she hadn't felt since the flames of Van's world.

--(**3 Months Later**)--

"Let _go_ of me!" Hitomi cried, struggling under the firm arms of her Dr. Takatori that locked her on his desk. He said he had believed her! He had told her he'd let her go home! He swore he'd take her off the drugs! He had _lied_! 

Violently she kicked against him, trying to remove his wandering hands from inside her cotton issued pants as they fell from her legs. "_Help me…_" Hitomi rasped, her throat sore from shouting. "I believed you!" Fretfully she grabbed for handfuls of the doctor's shaggy black hair.

A hard fist snapped into Hitomi's reddened face, leaving her starring in shock at the man she had thought was her only hope to get out of the institutionalized hell. "Shut up." He barked. "If you want to do this the hard way, then _fine_." Dr. Takatori reached for a small syringe located inside the top drawer of his desk, his torso pressing against her body as he leaned inward between her legs to reach.

"What are you doing…?" Hitomi mumbled focusing her bleary eyes on the object in his hands. "_No_!" 

Another efficient blow to the head left her again silent and bordering unconscious, "Shut up." 

The injection proved unnecessary, before he had uncapped the needle, Hitomi was dead to the world, blood dripping down the side of her swollen lip; regardless he introduced the drug into her blood stream for precautions.

--(**Five Weeks Later**)--

"It's just awful, Mei!" The round nurse exclaimed miserably too her smaller coworker, "She cut up her wrists with _plastic_, plastic from the cafeteria she hid god-knows where just last week!"

Mei nodded thoughtfully, "Only **Heaven** knows why! It would be a shame to loose another girl like that, and Hitomi is such a nice girl, I am so glad they got her stabilized upstairs. I wonder what possessed her to do such a terrible thing?"

"I wouldn't have a clue. With such a wonderful Doctor like Takatori you'd think she'd be getting better!"

"He hasn't lost a patient yet, Ayaka!" Mei beamed dreamily, "He's so good with the girls here! Hitomi is a lucky girl to have such a sensitive man taking her case; he'll have success in no time. I have faith in him!  
  


Ayaka nodded, "I have confidence in him too."__

--(**The Next Week**)--

Hitomi watched her plate with a deadened fascination with just the mere space it occupied in the universe. Aside from her preoccupation, her mind was empty and kept so by a smorgasbord of medications pumped into her three times daily by various nurses.

--(**Three Days and Two Nights of Good Behavior**)--

"Van…" Hitomi whispered into the blackness of her room. "Van…help me be stronger than this…" Loneliness gripped at her sore chest, "Van…" She pleaded.

Hitomi bolted up; on the wind she thought she had heard a whisper, a voice she had almost forgotten. As her eyes drifted around the source, her eyes locked on a patch of plaster on her wall. There was no window for wind to come through; someone was really returning her call.

However, the voice was gone, and she was alone as her nightly prescription took hold of her and choked the consciousness from her battered body. 

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**TBC**…

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**Ending Note**: Yup, depressing...the next chapter picks up after she has left the institution and is seeing a psychiatrist and trying to resume a normal life. However, the emotional wounds she has festering on her heart has created a newer Hitomi; a girl who isn't so quick to love, one who doesn't want to learn, a young woman who just doesn't care to live in a world that has done so much harm to her. 

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**NC** - Non-Consensual Sex: Enough Said

**DF** - Death Fic: One of the leading cast dies

**Yaoi** - Male X male: Two men loving and engaging in sexual acts

**Shônen** **Ai** - Boys Love: A lot of suggested Yaoi, no sex, some cuddling, a little kissing, usually a lot of drama. 

**Het** - Boy X Girl: A male and a female together and possibly engaging in sexual acts! (OH NO!)

Lemon/Citrus Scenes - Whoo hoo! Described Sex scenes no trail offs! 


	2. 01 Not enough Prozac in the world!

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Make me Real 

-by ReddAlice

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Author's Note: -Illicit Water Dragon- What's your favorite pairing? I tried to e-mail you back and say thanks for reviewing, but... LoL... your e-mail! 

Thanks for stickin' with me as I form my plot and foundation, it takes me about 3 chapters to get going... but it's going... chapter 2 is almost done! I have a few surprises already formulating! Be excited all you Angst and Drama lovers! 'Cuz it's what I specialize in! I also wanted to say… I welcome all comments in any form, anything you guys can offer to help me I will gladly accept graciously!  ||Looking for a good Beata Reader for Escaflowne, Yami No Matsuei, Gundam Wing, and upcoming Inuyasha fics|||

Songs_: Bring me to Life_ - Evanescence 

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**Chapter** **0_1_**: 

_"There isn't enough Prozac in the world for women like you"_

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It would seem each time Hitomi saw Dr. Maddox, the ever-aging psychiatrist, there where twenty more wrinkles adorning his face. Each crater probably some cosmic creator's tally mark for every occasion the practitioner preached his denigrating sermons about physical and mental health.  

"-It will get easier if you would only put forth effort to help yourself." He patronized. "You fall into these messes yourself, your parents are concerned, and frankly I don't know what to do with you. There isn't enough Prozac in the world for women like you."

Hitomi scowled; she hated talking to her Aunt Midori's moronic, ill-tempered English husband. "Then don't prescribe me any." She snapped.

"Whatever happened to that sweet girl I use to know? The one who would sit on my lap at New Years and tell me about your dreams, and your silly little fortunes." He sighed sifting through his desk drawer.

Was she really becoming that horrible? If she was, it was no small achievement! He treated her like American McGee's Alice in Wonderland's sardonic female protagonist. As if Gaea had all been in her mind, as if she hadn't truly touched the solid Earth of that world. 

Dr. Maddox shrugged checking the time; they still have thirty minutes before their hour appointment was over. "I mean, _really_ Hitomi, _look at you_! You look awful, what have you done to yourself?" He hissed in frustration, swiping up one of her pale arms from her lap. "Look!" Hitomi adverted her eyes towards the window. "It's god-awful!" He jabbed angrily, his eyes raking each crusted mark marring the soft of her arm. The old and knew scares fueled his passion. "_Why_ are you hurting yourself? Do you _want_ to go back to the mental facility? You've only been out for a year. From there they'll just sentence you to a life behind closed doors... padded walls... an _asylum_. Maybe there you could wallow in your _fantasy_!"

"It's _not_ a fantasy! Gaea is _real_!"

"You can't truly believe that it's real, Hitomi. You have no _proof_!" Dr. Maddox huffed.

Hitomi shrugged dismissively, "You _can't_ prove that it's not." 

"All of my years at college, wasted on you..." The doctor mourned, "All of my years there couldn't prepare me to deal with my own family."

"I'm not even related to you." Hitomi reasoned jerking her arm from his hands and gazing towards the window.

"You are _still my family_! I _still_ care!"

Hitomi tugged down the sleeve of her black hoodie and stood up, "Maybe you shouldn't."

"Why Hitomi? Just tell me why?"

"Because I don't."

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"Good morning, Tokyo! _Today_-" The small hello kitty alarm caterwauled. Hitomi violently walloped her clock into submission and rolled back over to look up at the window. The sun wasn't even shinning, it was clearly becoming dawn, but the smog-covered sky swallowed any beam that may promise a better day. 

"Hitomi! Are you getting up?" A distant maternal voice yelled, "You don't want to be late for school like yesterday, darling!" 

"_Yes_ I _do_." She mumbled sitting up and filling her lungs with air. The muscles in her body sorely contracted, aching from not moving in her sleep. It was 6:15 am.

 Vaguely she wondered what her old best friend was doing just now. In the past the jovial girl had rushed to wake Hitomi up for school, and together they would walk the 12 blocks to seek out their future. Nowadays, Yukari wouldn't even spare her a glance, not that Hitomi could blame her...

_*_

Yukari swung around and flopped onto Hitomi's bed, "I called your mom this morning, she said you could go back to school today! I already informed the office you'd be in! So wake up sleepy head. I missed you so much! It was a killer that your mom wouldn't let me see you till now. I even thought about kidnapping you, Hitomiiiii!" Yukari prodded the piles of blankets and body, "C'mon, wake up." 

_"Go away." Hitomi snapped vehemently, "I want to sleep."_

_Yukari laughed ignoring the undercurrent in her friend's voice, "Get up!" She giggled wickedly, ripping the blankets from the bed._

_"Hitomi..." She whispered wide-eyed. _

_"Leave me alone."_

_The scream the tore from Yukari's throat shook the angels from their perches and broke their glass bells. _

_*****_

The night before Hitomi had fancifully dragged the dull rusted edge of a box opener across her limb and fell asleep in her own blood hoping to be taken in her dreams. She wasn't so lucky; rather she woke up to the horror of her friend's cries, and the throbbing wracking her misused remains.

*

That was the start of things falling apart outside of Fairfax, it had been so long since she had seen Yukari, nearly 6 months. She didn't have it in her anymore to be a wistful teenage girl, full of ambitions and blushes. At present, Yukari was embarrassed to know her, what sort of friend was she anyways; perhaps no better than the friend who chased her away.

Angry about her incompetence once more, Hitomi flung the blankets back. She might as well face the day with a scowl.

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 Late, Hitomi dawdled to her locker, gazing at the people who swiftly passed her by. She was a raving lunatic after all, Yukari had probably told them all why she was recommended to the mental institution. 

Grabbing her books and shutting the door, Hitomi caught wind of a familiar voice, one that pained her deeply.

"You didn't tell me you where coming back! You _Fein_! And now you call me out of class." Yukari laughed.

"Aah, I wanted to come by and say hello to my old teachers, friends...and you… as a surprise..."

"Is that so?"

"Where's Kanzaki? Is she sick today?"

"I... I don't want to talk about her." Yukari stuttered.

"Is she okay?"

"... Kind of..." There was a long pause and a few whispers.

"What's wrong with Hitomi!?"

"Shh..." Yukari whispered.

"Is everything all right?"

"No, everything's not fine, Amano. I haven't talked to her in months." Yukari's voice was week.

Amano didn't reply.

"Remember that story she told us? You know, the one about where she disappeared? It was a joke at first; I thought she was covering up for something really awful. But... but Amano... she _really_ believes she went to that place. She's... not well... I can't bare to see her anymore."

"Why; just because she wants to believe in her fantasy? What's wrong with that? That's _no_ reason to abandon your friend." Amano said defensively.

"You haven't seen her in over a year, Amano... you don't understand. Her parents where worried when I told them what she was saying, so they sent her to a doctor... who later sent her to some place for people who aren't mentally healthy. She was gone for such a long time. I hated myself for telling her parents... I thought when she came back she'd be different, but she was worse... so much worse, she was different." Yukari cried. "I thought we could go back to the way it was, I'd even pretend to believe her if she would go back to the way she was... but Amano... Her mom wouldn't tell me what happened to her, why she was gone so long. I thought she was gonna be there for life."

"Yukari..."

"When I went go get her one time... I tried to wake her up, but she kept blowing me off. I thought she was joking, upset about me not coming to see her... but when I pulled back the blankets there was dried blood and scratches... it was awful, Amano. She wouldn't talk to me in school, she just stared at her desk or looked at the ground." She sobbed desperately. "I don't know her, I don't know what to do, I want my Hitomi back, and I miss my best friend."

"Yukari..."

"I don't want you to see her like this... everything is different about her. She quit all after school activities, everything. No drive. Her hair has darkened, she's paler from not going out into the sun... she's just... "

Hitomi couldn't avoid walking past them, she had to go to class, so she backed up a few paces then strode around the corner as if she hadn't noticed them. Yukari was clinging to Amano, her eyes fixed on Hitomi with tears and concern. "_Hitomi_." She breathed.

Sparing her a glance, Hitomi paused, nodded, and pursued her designated door.

"Kanzaki!" Amano was calling after her, "Kanzaki, wait!"

Shaking her head with finality, Hitomi pushed open her classroom door. "I'm sorry for my tardiness." She said to the teacher bowing, the door falling shut in Amano's shocked face.

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TBC... 

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**Next Chapter**: "_Yukari, I hate you!"_

**Author's Note**: ^-^ It always takes me a while to build the foundation for my story, but once it gets going I promise to come through with the angst and such as promised. ^-~ Van will be up with in the next few chapters; with review prompting I post frequently. 


	3. 02 Yukari, I hate you!

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**Make Me Real **

-_ReddAlice_

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**Author's Note**: Anyone listening to her mother's _pure 80's_ CD is bound to become insane... venomously insane. My favorite band of all time is Duran Duran, but my favorite singer is Jon Davis from Korn. I love metal and rock... so listening to the song Karma Chameleon is killing me. However... it's oddly surprising.

**Songs**: _Karma Chameleon_ - Culture Club,_ Tainted Love_ - Soft Cell, _Hungry Like a Wolf_, Duran Duran, Weiss Kruez Gluhen (OP)

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**Chapter 0_2_**:

"_Yukari, I hate you!"_

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_So it was Yukari who told my mom... she was the one who really didn't believe me. Had I known I would have kept the secret to myself, it wouldn't have bothered me much at all, not at all. I thought friends didn't keep secrets... _Oh yeah_... she _did_, she didn't tell me she had fallen in love with Amano. ...Then again... I've never told her about Van._

Hitomi pressed her lips thin and shut her book, she couldn't study right now; her brain had crawled out her ear and took of jogging towards Tokyo Station. She should have realized it sooner; she had never mentioned anything about Gaea to anyone other than Yukari and Amano until she reached the psychiatrist... That was where she made her mistake; she should have kept her journey to herself. Nudging her history book towards the edge of her desk, Hitomi shook her head then pushed the heavy binding and listened to it hit the floor. Was she a fool? 

_What would Van think of me now_?

Even as they parted, their futures separate, they never really conversed about the confused emotions that traversed between them. She couldn't say she had truly loved him, because she had wanted to be with Allen, but in the end sided with the Fenelian King and Escaflowne. For a while she had believed she was in love with him, but now she was confused. Her mind bitterly chewed the thought. He had to have cared for her, he risked his life to save her, but would Van do that for anyone he thought was innocent? 

...Would he come to save her now that she wasn't... 

"I'm still Hitomi." She argued aloud, but inside, she knew she wasn't the same.

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_The world was shady, hazy, and dizzying... What had he given her? Was she dying? Even as she willed it she couldn't move, she couldn't breath; the waters of the Earth rushing in her ears, weaving endlessly through the dull sound of her heartbeat._

_"Hitomi!!!"_

_Van?_

_"Hitomi!!!"_

_Allen?_

_"Hitomi!!!"_

_Van..._

_"Hitomi..."_

Dr. Takatori_._

Hitomi bolted up right in her chair, the soft fabric of her pajama bottoms slipping and resulting in her sitting under, not next to, the desk. "Hitomi? _Hitomi_!!"

"Mom?"

"Did you fall asleep studying? I heard you down stairs. Was it a nightmare? Could you unlock the door?"

"Everything's fine mom." Hitomi piped opening the door and smiling emptily. "What is it?"

"There's a phone call for you."

Hitomi blinked, her face openly bemused, _She_ had a phone call? No one called her anymore. "Okay, I'll get it in my room, thanks Mom."

Sitting back at her desk, she watched the phone wearily, waiting for it to jump up at yell at her for being so ditsy. It was pale cherry colored with small glittery panda stickers; her whole room was optimistic in that way. A reminder of how carefree she had been a year ago, there mere thought peeled away at the darkness and made her smile.

"Hitomi! Do you got it?" Came her mother's voice through the door.

"Oh!" Hitomi snatched up the pink handset, "Hello?" 

"Hello, this is Mr. Takatori's office, you are now being connected." The very blood in her body iced over, slivering off into her veins.

"Hitomi, this is Dr. Takatori, how have you been?"

"I-I'm good." The world chilled around her and broke away.

"That's good to hear. Listen, we need to have you come back in for one of three evaluations. As long as there are no incidents along the way, you should be completely off the hook. No more check ups, no more Fare Fax ever again."

_No more... ever again_... 

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"Is that all he had to say, Hitomi?" Mr. Kanzaki asked looking over his daughter with a hard eye of dissection.

_Yes,_ that was all Dr. Takatori had to say to her, after what he had done to her, every time she left the room she was dismissed by him as just another patient. Why did she think she would be treated different? There was no special treatment for the used, even when he looked at her, his eyes where that of a doctor, not the eyes of a man who had violated her. 

And on the phone, he spoke to her as if she was just another one of his patients; it was very probably she hadn't been his only victim. Victim? The word was odd in her mind, like a disease she had fought off for years had finally surfaced under the rigid light of recognition. 

"Yeah, he wants me to come in tomorrow after work at 3 in the afternoon." Kanzaki Hitomi was just another victim, something she had never been before. Even while she was bewildered amongst warring guymelef, her character tried numerous times she had never been the injured party. Somewhere she had taken profound satisfaction in knowing she could take care of herself and triumph over all odds. 

Kanzaki Hitomi was a faceless victim. 

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The trudge to her weekend job should have been accompanied by a requiem. It had been apart of the agreement with her parents following her release. She was to get a job and try to resume a healthy teenage life. Apparently a healthy life also included being browbeaten by soulless managers, and emotional abused by unhappy customers grumpy customers.  

"Hitomi!"

Slowly, if not painfully, Hitomi brought herself to a halt and craned her head to better see _who_ was calling her name, praying that she was truly insane this time around. No such luck however, the causeless concerned face of Yukari bobbing and panting before her. "You walk so fast! I-...need... to catch my breath!"

"...Yukari...?" Hitomi whispered at a loss, she at first had been dreading a confrontation with her treacherous friend, but in the flesh Yukari hardly seem to embody the wickedness she had come to represent, which left Hitomi at a loss for words.

Yukari placed her hands on her hips, "Hitomi, we need to talk... about things..."

"What _sort_ of things?" Hitomi asked, feeling a bit of her old self-peeking behind the heavy velvet curtains of her psyche.

"_Well_...we need to talk about..." Was this the same woman crying over her in the halls to- "Amano. We need to talk about Amano." She repeated more confidently.

Hitomi quirked her head her voice strained by her own mystification, "_What_?"

"I know you've been holding a grudge against me over Amano, and I wanted to talk about it. We're friends after all, right? I mean I know you said it was _okay_ that I went after him... but we never talked about how you felt about the whole damn thing. It's been over a year, Hitomi, I think you need let the bad go... so we can be friends again." Yukari explained, "I miss you. We're friends after all... _right?_"

How in all of God's green earth had she deduced such a ridiculous conjecture? "_What_?" Hitomi heard herself say, "You think I am angry at you over... _over_... Amano? _No_!" She shouted, a few sparse people stopping to watch the exchange. "I'm not angry or jealous over Amano! My problem is..." Finally, she was going to say it. She had been thinking of it since yesterday in school when she learned who really sent her to Fairfax, the person who really abandoned her and threw her to the dogs. "My problem is you..." Hitomi whispered.

It was Yukari's turn to be confused, "What are you saying?"

"Yukari, I hate you. How could you ruin my life?"

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The unused, impersonal smell of clothes hung in the air, making breathing a disagreeable task. Shopping when she had been young had never been much fun, why would working at a Smart Mart be a better experience?

"S'cuse me miss? Do you have this in a bigger size?"

What a way to spend a Saturday? Cooped up in the clothing department tagging thongs, and wallowing in mistakes.

"Miss? Miss? Miss?"

Hitomi looked up finally coming to terms that the horribly high-pitched voice was begging for _her_ attention. After all, she was the woman's wear attendant today. "Oh?"

The woman across the counter was waving a leopard print bra around in her face; the huge breast cups the size of large mixing bowls. "Yes, _you_." The robust elderly lady grumbled stretching the 42" band of the garment.

"Do you have this in a _bigger_ size? Also-" The woman pulled up another item into view. "Do you know where I can find more of _these_?" A delicate piece of jewelry dangled from the woman's index finger and thumb, a teardrop of polished burgundy, and in the glow of it's ominous presence the universe melted away. 

The pendant swung towards Hitomi like a pendulum, and then withdrew in the darkness.

Back in forth... 

_In perfect time..._

Hitomi lunged over the counter and ripped the necklace from the customer's hand, distorting the phenomenon. The milieu shuddered and returned to vast generic clothing wracks and yellow sale tags. "_Hey_!" The women yelped, "I'm going to buy that!"

 For a shocked minute, Hitomi waited for her surroundings to fluctuate around her again. When to her disappointment, and relief, nothing happened again, she slowly unclenched her white knuckled fist. "My _pend_-..." It was just a piece of cracked red plastic tied to a black string, why had she thought it the heirloom her Grandmother had given her? The necklace she had left with Van. Why was she seeing things? Now that she thought about it, hadn't she just yesterday predicted Takatori's call?

Unnerved, Hitomi groped for an explanation for her rude behavior, "I... um... oh..." Her eyes wandered to the clock above the emergency phone and extinguisher. It was 2:30. "I have to go, it's time for me to clock off. Have a nice day, and thank you for shopping at Smart Mart!"

Maybe now wasn't the best time of all times to be having a psychological evaluation and check up?

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TBC... Next Chapter: "_Enjoy it!"_

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**Author's Note**: Please notify me of any heinous errors (spelling, grammar, stupid plot, **etc**)! It is really important to me that my work is legible! My own beta'ing skills are mediocre so I depend on my reader's honest.****

**Uzumaki**: Thank you for reviewing! I had no way to say that, you don't have an e-mail posted! Make no mistake, I like Yukari, she's just playing her role for now... but seeings how now is now... let's make a big party of chucking the loud mouth out the window, ne?

**IWD**: I promise not to make this a habit (writing to readers through my story), but I just wanted to say thank you and let everyone know how wonderful you are! ^-~ points Wonderful!


	4. 03 Enjoy it!

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**Make Me Real **

-_ReddAlice_

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**Author's Note**: 

**Songs**: Enae Volera Mezzo – Era, My own summer – Deftones, Mr. Sandman – Glenn Miller with the Andre sisters.

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**Chapter 0**_3_:

"_Enjoy it!"_

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"I think you owe it to her as friends to talk with her, after all, I came here to see her as well." Amano explained to Yukari as they walked towards Smart Mart.

Yukari crinkled her nose agitated, her mouth about to open when a lithe body nearly plowed into her, and continued on down the street. "Oi!" She shouted, "Wa-...Hitomi?"

Leaving them in a trail of metaphorical dust, Hitomi hurried around the corner in record time, an unruffled sorry hanging in the air after her.

"Kanzaki!" Amano called out taking off after her. Supposedly the girl had quit track team and neglect most, if not all, physical activity, however her sprightly progression and incredible swiftness left him in marvel. Even while he had been attending his old high school, and held the shinning title of track star, he had never seen anyone run so fast, let alone his junior peer. 

However, for some reason, Yukari didn't feel moved to go after either.

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Breaking her pace and bringing it down to a complete stop, Hitomi sagged against the stone gate of her reformatory prison gulping air. After this, she would be completely free of everything it stood for, and everyone under its service. 

Curiously she glanced at her wristwatch: 5 minutes 39 seconds. "Wow…" She wheezed, she had nearly covered three miles in record time, but now it was time to pay the piper. She had been idle to long to be suddenly picking up long distance sprinting; nevertheless, she still had it. That fact alone ebbed down at the trepidation that had been building within her since the preceding day.  

Rounding a corner, some guy was shouting at her, waving his hand for her attention. "Hitomi." Amano panted. "I haven't done anything have I? Won't you talk to me for just a moment."

Checking her watch again, she nodded, "I have a moment."

The tone was foreign to him, there was a hitch in her voice he had never heard before, and it pained him. She had been so sweet once, someone he cared for, someone he always would. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." A few awkward seconds dropped off the clock. "Is that everything? You just wanted to know if I was okay?"

Amano nodded earnestly, "Yeah, I did." He replied looking past her to the ominous building in the backdrop. "So that's it, huh?"

Hitomi viciously struggled against her shame and nodded, "Yes, yes it is." _I have nothing to be ashamed about...I've done nothing wrong..._yet_._

"I know it's none of my business, Hitomi, and I don't want to pry."

A smile broke loose on her face, "If you didn't want to pry, you _wouldn't_."

"You're right, I do. Why are you here?" He solicited pushing his long hair back from his face.

Hitomi followed his gaze back to Fairfax "I have my final check up appointment today." 

"Mind if I wait for you? We can go out for soda or something after you're done, catch up."

The invitation was too tempting, "Yeah, of course!" There was no way the day would get any better, and she hadn't felt so cherished in a long time. "That would be great."

Amano nodded, "I'll be here when you get back."

Hitomi nodded in return, her face indisputably bright, a glimpse of her former self. "Okay!  
  


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The stale office air peeled off the scabs of freshly healing wounds, and to make the visit all the more pleasant, Dr. Takatori was leaning against his empty secretary's desk flipping through her folder nonchalantly. 

"Miss Kanzaki, so glad you could make it." He piped looking up at her with a handsome smirk. The doctor's good looks had been a beacon in such a dark place, his grace a focus, and his promises hope she had so desperately needed. "Early _too_, what more could a man ask for in a patient. Convalescing _and_ punctual." Hitomi regarded him severely, keeping her distance now that she could.

The practitioner waited for a few minutes truly expecting a happy greeting, but receiving nothing but a grating cold stare of contempt. "Alright, Hitomi, would you please step into my office. We'll try and make this quick…" His words trailed suggestively, as though he was about to punish her lack of reaction. She could only guess, fret, and possible pray he was only toying with her emotions, tugging the choke chain to suffocate her, and then letting her free mere seconds before her heart stopped. 

Dr. Takatori shut the door with loud purpose, and blocked the exit with his body, pressing his tall frame against the wood and watching her shift from foot to foot nervously. "Let's start with an examination. How have you been?"

"I've been good."

"Has school been going alright? Interacting well with others?"

"Yeah, it's like nothing has changed at all."

"Is that so?" He was casually making his way over to her, closing the gap between them with calculate steps.  

She could always scream; _wait_...she had done that before, she had screamed till her throat was parched and lungs wanted to collapse. Technically though, he had yet to do anything. Hitomi's heart thudded, her body voluntarily shutting down all conscious functions that held fast attachments to her emotions.

"Are you saying that you aren't tempted to break your delicate flesh with a blade? To tear into your body and physically repent for all of your sinful delusions that makes your parents and friends so sad? _That makes me so sad_. No more blood under the covers when you wake up? Or wounds in places no one else can see. Secret places maybe?" Takatori stopped in front of her, "Places no one usually sees."

"No, I'm not like that." She lied.

Dr. Takatori shrugged, "I would feel much better if I could see for myself."

"_No_." She firmly said moving around him and lunging for the door, she wouldn't fall into his trap if she didn't have to. She was strong…. Or so she thought, the door was locked and gave no sign of budging without the old key or key code pass.

Dr. Takatori laughed, "Hitomi...All I would have to say is you unfit, or said something...and you would be back _here_, with me _every single day_." A lump rose in her throat, the windows were bared, and she was stuck. "I might like that though, you know?"

Did she have the strength to fight him? As his body closed in over hers, she felt her knees buckle weakly out of fear and anticipation. All she could do was melt to the floor and hope to drain away into the cracks. "Van…" She whimpered.

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'Van...would you save me now that I'm not?' 

_'Now that you aren't what?'_

'Now that I'm not'…There was gut wrenching sobbing, her naked form shuddering in tears. 

_'Aren't what?' He whispered crouching next to her and trying to wrap her body in a sheet from his bed where her blurry form lay._

_Desperately she pushed out of his arms, and kicked off the shelter, her eyes set ablaze with fiery tears. 'Van!' She screamed, her eyes vague and shifting. 'Van!'_

_'I'm right here!'_

_All of Gaea became mute in Van's ears, Hitomi screaming and nothing coming out. Suddenly, she calmed, a smile curving her deadened eyes under her lashes. She was mumbling, her quivering hands looking for something._

_Hitomi froze when she found the something, and then drew it to her neck. It was Van's sword, extending to full length, but even under the weight, her hand became steady.  _

_The horror that then unfolded was that created from the threads of his worst nightmares, all of his losses accumulated and embodied inside one girl, and the smooth motion that left her throat an open wound on a corpse. _

The world came back into the light as his eyes ripped open. It couldn't have been? Unraveled, and sweaty, Van reached for his neck, and felt the throbbing warmth of the pendent in his palm. It was.

All this time, and nothing from her, she had said if they shared the same feelings nothing would keep them from contacting each other. However, those words faded with each day, her image a memory in his dreams. A few months prior he had called out to her from his room, after the reconstruction of Fanelia was underway, and waited for hours for a reply. He had hoped his voice would be carried away on the wind, and would reach her no matter where she had ventured. Maybe it hadn't, but if it had she had been silent.

~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~

_"Enjoy it_!" Takatori growled as he thumped against her limp body, "Want it!"

A knock at the thick door brought the violations to an immediate arrest, followed by a brief intercom message. : Doctor? There is a young man come to pick up your patient. :

Takatori hissed and leaned across Hitomi to answer the message. "Who is it?"

…Silence…

: He says he is her friend Amano, and they are in a bit of a hurry. Sorry my lunch break ran so long, he has been out her a while. :

"We'll be done shortly I-..." Takatori gagged, and in blind pain felt up his chest to his shoulder. "You bitch…" The pain was revolting; it pulsed from the wound and ran down his chest like claws.

Hitomi laid on her back smiling emptily, blood smeared on her fingers. During his distraction, Hitomi had grabbed a pencil, and thrust it deep within her favorite doctor's shoulder. "I did enjoy it." She grinned, and twisted the writing utensil with sadistic justification.

Fairfax was filled with a new scream, a violent, and vindictive cry of agony. 

~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~

TBC…Next Chapter: _"I hope you die."_

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**Ending Note**: I found a hole in the story ALREADY! I'll have to fix in the next chapter! ^-^ THANK you for reviewing, everyone, and you are all wonderful! As for everyone else...ONEGAI!!! 


	5. 04 I hope you die!

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**M_ake_ M_e_ R_eal _**

-**_R_**_edd**A**lice_

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

**Author's Note**: I've decided to add in a few Japanese suffixes that I can't due without. Such as Merle's sama...Here saying Lord Van just doesn't due her or her devotion justice. Our culture concepts are just far too different. ^-^ However, I'll refrain from -san, -chan, and -kun for your'all sake. See I am being productive!

**Thank you **Unmei Hime for the bit of encouragement I needed to post this.**

Thank you Bettypatch for pointing out a few of my errors. Such as... how I spelt Amano **Alamo** then laughed so hard I nearly cried. I have no idea why I found it so funny, but I nearly DIED howling in glee. ^-^ BP it would be people like you who point out serious errors that truly help me evolve! Thank you! 

**Songs**: My Own Summer - Deftones, Change - Deftones, Chauffer -Deftones (It was originally done by Duran Duran, my favorite song from my favorite band redone and well at that! ^-~)

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**Chapter 0_4_**:

"_I hope you die!"_

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

Hitomi let her eyes roll back into her head, and she listened to him scream. It was gratifying, a justification, or perhaps it was more of a symbolic retaliation. "I hope you _die_." She whispered.

Takatori dropped to the ground, his face pale, and utterly unconscious. For someone so keen on inflicting severe agony on others, he wasn't sweet on pain.  

Hitomi left the office as customary, bowed a little to the secretary, and left the desk with a few words. "Dr. Takatori needs to finish some paperwork, he wants to be left alone." Hitomi permitted an undisclosed smile, "Have a nice day."

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

Even to her own surprise, it took Hitomi a while to muster the urge to speak. They were several blocks away before she opened her mouth, "I'm sorry it took me so long." She said fidgeting as they walked, her body a little sore.

Amano carefully watched her, curious about her odd concept of time. Then again, what did he know about a mental institution. "Kanzaki...you were only in there 15 minutes, I just thought I'd come in and wait..." Nothing in his voice suggested he had a clue. "That secretary just wouldn't listen, she was little flighty."

Hitomi nodded, how many times had she thought the same thing? Then again, for a while behind those unstable walls she _had_ thought that all the staff members were conspirators out to get her. Why? The drugs had prevented her from getting much father than that, so she was left with looming paranoia as she tried to battle insomnia. 

"You seem a little different." Amano noted, and Hitomi had to hand it to him for coming around and even addressing the issue. At least he had the decency to do so, Yukari had just ran to the edges of the earth; little did she know that was where Hitomi was balanced.

Hitomi again nodded, "I suppose. People change." She said slyly defending her secrets. "You aren't exactly the same you were last time I saw you either, you're a little more..."

"A little more _what_?"

The word was there sitting on the other side of the spectral scale from her position. "_Extroverted_."

"While you are..._here..._more introverted." He observed.

Hitomi had to wince at that, why was he suddenly so pushy? So concerned? He had been when she fainted before her trip to Gaea, but not with this much urgency. Then again, he _had_ gone as far as to page her while she sat in the woods of another world. 

Looking at him through the corner of her eyes Hitomi felt her cheeks flush in a way they hadn't in quite a while, he was watching her. "Observant." She said covering up her regression with iciness.

The pair stopped by a vending machine apparently walking towards the school. "_I'm_ buying, what would you like?" He said lightheartedly.

"_Whatever_ is fine."

Not wanting to press the issue into an agreement over soda, Amano frowned slightly. "Cola fine with you?" Hitomi nodded becoming more and more withdrawn as their time together wore on. 

Amano handed her the drink, and the two of them continued on their to the closed grounds of his old school. Soon, the two found themselves seated on the bleachers of the track and football field. 

"How as your trip abroad? Are you leaving again?" Hitomi queried trying to be conversational; she at least deserved a star for effort.

"It was great." Amano said forcibly, "I'm leaving again soon. I just wanted to touch bases."

"Oh? With who?"

Amano appeared to give it some thought, carefully choosing his words. "Teachers who helped me, students, friends, Yukari... you." 

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

Merle scrunched her nose, her ears flattening irritable. If Van didn't calm down quickly she just may betray her heart and become a slayer for sanity. "Van-sama!" She cried panic gripping at her cruelly. What could she do for him? Nothing. The only person who could wasn't there, and didn't care enough to contact her worried King to even tell him she was all right; which Merle assured him she was. 

From their time together, Merle knew Hitomi had a knack for trouble, whether or not she wanted it or purposefully beckoned it. It was there if she was. Yet, somehow she managed to heal wounds left after catastrophes of biblical proportions. At least she fixed what she messed up! 

That said little for Van.

In his rage and frustration he had left his room in ruins, choosing to take it out on inanimate objects rather than living beings.

He was so pigheaded! Merle screamed inwardly, frightened. What if he hurt himself? Becoming increasingly ill from worry, the cat girl ran from the room. There _was_ someone that could help. Bringing Allen would reopen old wounds, but Cellena, that was another story. For some reason under Cellena's and Van's illogical hatred towards one another was deep breathing understanding of warriors. However, Van just didn't understand that Cellena was no longer Dilandou... and from the girl... there was nothing to fear.

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

Allen bolted upright in his empty bed, his chest tight with stress from the nightmare had had witnessed. It was already disappearing from his memory, but he could recall the vague outline, and linking images. 

Hitomi had been there, in tears at his feet, her hands clenched so tightly on her knees that she had begun to bleed. "Kill me." She begged.

Allen had refused, and instead offered himself as solace, wrapping his elegantly long arms around her shuddering form. "Never." 

The girl had been on his mind since she left, and he couldn't let go. He _had_ so _tried_ _hard_ not to embrace any attraction for the girl knowing Van's evolvement, but later it had been as if hands had pushed him to her and forgot to undo the magic that bound him to Hitomi. 

Subsequently it was nothing but ugly jealousy, competition, and obsession. Had there been love masked under those disgusting unrespectable feelings? Yes, there had to have been for him to be dreaming of her after all this time. He longed for her, and felt involuntary unrequited resentment for the man she chose, and then left, though she had left _him_ as well.

In the dream, or nightmare, she had pushed away from him and fell back into the arms of Fanelia's king. "_Kill me_." She goaded.

In the shadows behind Van stood a figure that angered Allen more then Van could ever intentionally. Dilandou...no.... it had been Cellena at first, but under Van's unpredictable gaze she had digressed back, her body screaming, but _his_ eyes laughing. Even in reality, Allen knew it would only be a matter of time.

"_Please_..." Hitomi had sobbed. "Van..."

Dilandou participated in a brief conversation with Van before lowering to the ground behind king, and drawing his arms possessively around Van's trim waist.

Hitomi had been lost that very moment, she screamed rejected, and still without assistance thrust Van's sword into her throat. 

Allen sat in his bed, his heart wounded in the suggestion. Dilemma was aloof, it was about time he swallowed his emotions and went to go see Van. Still, he would leave his younger, traumatized, and a touch crazy sister at home to tend to her flowers and animals like she should. The heart of a child is easily swayed. The heart of a woman is fiercely blind but strong. The heart of the man is single-minded but powerful. All of that was trapped inside Cellena's frail body. Allen just couldn't imagine.

Only partially dressed, Allen descended from his bedroom. "Would you tell Cellena I will be back tomorrow evening."

The old woman near the window looked up, she was a paid caretaker Allen had enlisted the help of. She was honest, quiet, and attentive, a perfect person to keep an eye on Cellena when he was gone. The woman also had a few secrets up her baggy, dusty sleeves. 

Appearances weren't what they seemed; she was also a doppelganger in hiding, a forest friend of Jajuka. After the fires receded over Gaea, she had sought Allen out and asked for him to save her. Calling the woman a her wasn't aptly correct, the Doppelgangers where asexual, but the form it chose was necessary part of hiding.

"Cellena left with that cat girl, it was an emergency. I was just coming to wake you, something is wrong with the King."

Allen could have told her that, but under the circumstances of fret, he refrained.

**~~~~?~~~~~? ~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~**

Hitomi and Amano sat near the field for three hours before Hitomi decided it best for her to leave. "I should be going." She mumbled, the entire conversation had been strained but gracefully kept up.

Amano discovered himself starring at the track, it's long lanes wrapping around the dark green field. Memories were haunting him. "Hitomi..._wait_."

"_What_?" 

Shaking his head, he looked up at her, his muscles tense. Amano remembered that beam of light, and the young warrior who had spirited her away with him. He remembered the content reassured woman she returned as. How dare he let Yukari kill such an amazing girls metamorphism, when she herself saw Hitomi's unearthly departure as well. She had even gone as for as to sit with him while they worried over Kanzaki's whereabouts. "Hitomi...I remember the funnel of light...I believe you."

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**TBC...Next Chapter**: "_Stupid Can... And Stupid Worms"_

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**Ending Note**: No, this will never become a Hitomi by Amano, I'd sooner kill myself. ^-~ Thanks for sticking around! I trust to hear from all of you, I pray you enjoyed, and I thank you for your loyalty! I hope I never disappoint you!

**I hope you all check out my other stories! Thanks for giving me a chance!


	6. 05 Stupid Can and Stupid Worms

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**Make** _me_ **Real** 05

**By R_eddAlice_**

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**Author's Note**: I decide I am gonna change the format of the story a bit towards the top, I don't mind the spacing during the fic, but frankly...it's just too spacious. ^-^ Thanks for the love you guys sent me on the last chapter. ^-^ You know? Dilandou is my favorite Escaflowne character; I worship his Japanese seiyuu Takayama Minami, her voice in eternally sexy and expressive. I am still aspiring to do this story justice, and every one of you has helped so much. I hope you guys continue to grace me with your opinions.

**I've also decided to keep Cellena's One-san, it's just apart of their characters that can't be neglected nor correctly translated. Brother. ****I'll try to extend the chapters within reason, but I find myself not being able to update as frequently if they become too long. ^^; Gomen...But...as of a few days a go my good friend was kicked out of her home and his living with me. She doesn't truly approve of me spending ANY time typing (or anime ~_~), so I will see what I can work out to keep a balance.

**Songs**: Angel Sanctuary OST, Knife Party -_ Deftones_

**Quote**: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but what if they're blind? What if they are evil? _What if_ they are _me_? -Hitomi- a quote from a later chapter.

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**Chapter 0_5_:**

_"Stupid Can...and Stupid Worms."_

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The world faded and blurred in her line of site behind angry tears. Hitomi looked away, in her mind Amano's mouth forming the words she had wanted to hear: I believe you...Now why was she upset? Why was her heart beating so hard that it was breaking her rib cage? 

Amano rose from his seat and put a hand on her shoulder, "Hitomi? Are you okay?" She looked dazed starring out into the depths of idealism, tears snaking down her cheek. "I believe you...I saw it." He said to her, knowing she was listening. "I saw that guy...I saw the dragon...I watched you get taken away, and you came back. How could I not believe you?"

How could Hitomi have believed for one moment Gaea wasn't real? She _did_ go to that planet! Even though she had fought and suffered for her piece of mind, she had harbored doubt. 

Privately she had thought that she had fabricated the lost land's inhabitance to ease her heart, because every girl wants to know a surreal type of love. "I need to leave." Hitomi said fighting for her balance as she pushed away his hand and stumbled down the steps. 

"Where are you going, Kanzaki?" He called after her.

Hitomi didn't answer, but rather found her-self engrossed in thought, her footing on the earth heavy. How could she have neglected to recall that Yukari and Amano had seen her leave? How could Yukari have condemned her? 

**********

It was intangible torment; Van's was heart being ripped in so many ways he couldn't begin to hold on; his emotions reaching past ambivalence to dark roller coaster of hurt. Why had he let her leave him? What sort of protection did he offer her when he couldn't he see her, the prophet who had come from the mystic moon to save his world, to heal the invisible lacerations on his body, why wouldn't she answer him?

How could Merle say she was okay? He could feel her just beyond physical touch...she wasn't okay...she was _broken_.

What would he do? Van swung out at the air, his feet twisting and tangling in the sheets he had thrown there and he found himself in a heap on the floor.

"Van-sama…" Merle whispered shuffling into the room and sitting next to her lord, wishing all her might his troubles would go away. "She's fine." She added embracing him and lowering her head to his shoulder.

"Merle." 

"Yes, Van-sama?" 

Van detangled her arms from around him and stood up, "I just want to be alone." He shook his head and walked to the door, "I just want to be left alone." He needed time to think about what he would do, he needed a plan of action; he was a king after all, and a knight. 

"B-but Van-sama…!" The cat girl protested as he disappeared into the thick shadows of the hall.

Outside, Van stopped facing forward, and slanted his glance to the side stiffly. Barely visible in the darkness stood a young woman dressed sloppily in her bedclothes, a long white night gown that floated about her ankles. She was contently watching him with a masked gaze, what she appeared outwardly was not what she was inwardly. 

Cellena was a frightening creature, a mystified, startlingly striking, but frightening monster. Being near her made Van's skin crawl, and the blood his veins turn to ice. 

Somewhere in that pale form, that ghost of a woman Allen called sister, was a demon far superior than Dorinkirk had ever been. 

The scientists had played God, and created the devil, and now that beast was sleeping inside a female's body stuck with the consciousness of a guiltless child; and there she was...starring at him with wide concentrated eyes. A look that didn't belong to her was there in her face, a consciousness that had been dormant blearily awake.

"_Cellena_." Van looked past the girl to a swiftly approaching figure, Allen, his long blonde hair hanging behind him. "Cellena!" He repeated a temperament apparent in his tone.

The young woman blinked, the intensity vanishing under a waved of innocence. ""Ne-san?" She asked disorientatedly.

The knight halted at his younger sister side, and Van noted that he was possessive, and blind to everyone's feelings but his own. The man Van had once aspired to be like was pathetic now...or maybe he had always been so but such observations had been lost under a child's adoration. 

Allen didn't break his gaze from Van's. "Van."

"Allen." Van returned curtly as he turned away and continued walking; he was not an adolescent any longer. 

**********

Allen shook his head and pulled his sister around to look at him, "Cellena why did you come here alone?"

"I came here with Merle." She answered simply, her eyes set on Van as he began to fade from sight.

**********

Amano couldn't believe her nerve; Yukari had searched him out and found him sitting at the school. "What do you mean you talked to her parents again?" 

"She did something awful, she's not well."

"No! _You're_ not well! You _lied_...you know you did...Why did you lie?!"

"I-I...I didn't...want to be the one who was insane." She stuttered woefully. "But she tried to kill him! Her parents called me asking if I had seen her. She stabbed him with a _pencil_, Amano. They're waiting at her house to take her away, her parents agree, she needs to be kept somewhere safe. It's for her own good." Yukari added almost as an after thought, as if she was trying to convince herself.

Amano couldn't control himself, his hand flew back with threatening intention and he slapped her. "She's not mad! I saw it too, and so did you! How _dare_ _you_ protect _yourself_ using _her_!" 

Yukari shook her head, sobs tearing from her voice as she crumbled to her knees. "No…they're taking her."

"They're going to take her away?"

Yukari nodded feebly. 

Amano shook his head and bound down the bench seats to the ground. It was time to reinstate who was the track star. 

********** 

What would she do? She started the pushed the snowball down the mountain, and now it was unstoppable. It was her fault the can of worms had been open, and now there was nothing to do but cry.

Yukari dropped her head watching the sun streak the horizon, the cream colored hills seemingly catch fire under its golden red glow. The day had been so eventful, she was glad the dusk had finally come. "Stupid can...and stupid worms…" she growled her eyes tearing. Was Amano right?   

**********

The brownstone westernize building were Hitomi lived was aggressively dark and still, something was wrong, the tenseness in her chest was almost overwhelming. Pressing her wrinkled clothes down with the back of her hands, Hitomi opened the door to an unwanted shock.

The door opened with a crack when Hitomi's hand fell limp from the knob letting it slam into the wall. They had company: four men and one woman, two guards, and three nurses, all of which stood when she entered the hall.

"Mom, _Dad_..." She mumbled stepping numbly back towards the exit. "I-..." She had been wondering in the back of her mind where the consequences of her assault had been hiding. They were all cozied-up in her dwelling, waiting for her... creating punishments for her in the deranged minds. A pit of blackness grew in her gut, nursed gingerly by her claustrophobic memories of the institution.

"Miss Kanzaki, we've been here _waiting_ for you." The voice stopped her a millimeter from her only escape; the door had been closed unbeknownst to her in her alarm.

Hitomi's back connected with the wood paneling of the access, and her head turned gradually towards the source of the voice. There with his hand firmly planted on the door stood Dr. Takatori. 

"I'm not angry about what happened earlier." He explained passively, the other occupants of the residence slowly trapping her in the corner. "I understand you were upset." Shock tore through her shaking body, her mouth opening somewhat and closing trying frantically to form words of remonstration. 

Smiling unobtrusively, the Doctor continued. "You _see_ Hitomi, these _men_ and this woman are here to _collect_ you, maybe even correct your behavior." Hitomi looked to her parents for help, but their faces were turned away in shame, their distressed stares locked on one another for support. "_I_ on the other hand am here to _help you_."

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**TBC**... "_From out of the ashes…_"__

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**Ending Note**: Who knew Amano was such an assertive guy, grah! Anyhow, I was asked why I am so persistent about communicating between my readers and fellow authors. I honestly believe communicating amongst us is a key way to help us mature as writers. I often in return for reviews, or just people who e-mail me to talk, look through their work. Most people who take the time to speak up and pretty good authors who earnestly want the same consideration they give. ^-^ Besides, I've met some pretty cool fandom members of all ages who have a wide appreciate for text, and honestly have help me develop without the restraints of formalities. Again, thank you so much! You all are so awesome. 

"Honesty never hurts my feelings, it's the people who don't have the respect to speak up that causes me pain." - Baiome.


	7. 06 From out of the Ashes

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**Make** _me_ **Real** 0_6_

**By R_eddAlice_**

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**Author's Note**: If the first paragraph doesn't make sense to you, please go back to the last chapter and read the last paragraph. ^-^ A few hours after I originally posted chapter 05 I decided to add on to it. To appease the neglected reader, this chapter is much longer than any I've written for MMR before. I hope you appreciate it because I nearly ran out of music writing it.

**Warning**: ummm….

**Song**: Sayonara - _Gackt_, Knife Party - _Deftones, (The entire first sailor moon CD, you know our favorite one! The pink one! **head bands to theme song**), Adema (God... Jon Davis's little brother... HOT HOT HOT! big Korn fan), Korn-Life Is Peachy-Issues-Untouchables - all by KORN, _

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**Chapter 0_6_**:

_"From out of The Ashes…"_

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Hitomi finally managed to spit it out, her heart pounding in her lungs. The words that followed stunned the room in silence; even Dr. Takatori was staggered that she had confessed his crime in her desperation to rescue herself.

Mr. and Mrs. Kanzaki gawked temporarily in horror at their daughter's utterance, and then dismissed her announcement with disgrace in their faces. "Hitomi, maybe it's best you go with them." Her mother said firmly, adverting her damp eyes. 

Her father nodded reflecting his acquiescence, but his voice lacked his wife's conviction. "You can't stay here anymore, not in your condition."

Hitomi's mouth fell agape, she just told them the doctor they paid for raped her, and abused her in ways no normal man could have. Yet, they still looked at her like she had betrayed them...as if _she_ had _dishonored_ **_them_**...

"Taki...Sen...please escort Miss Hitomi to the car. Miss Kanzaki, you are lucky I did not request assistance from the police. Be grateful."

Hands closed in around her…

"No…" Van!

**********

The icy fall breeze warmed around him, the garden's potent floral scent floating in the mixture. "Hitomi?" It was an odd sensation, but Van shrugged it off. He could have sworn someone had just reached for him, but why now after all this time? She hadn't needed him before.

**********

Mrs. Kanzaki watched the men try to get a hold of Hitomi's struggling form, her baby...her baby girl...Where did this come from? A small cleft in her chin became evident as her lip trembled. 

It was her mother's entire fault, the old woman had been stark raving mad...and she passed those awful genes through her daughter's body to her granddaughter; then fed her mind full of fanciful stories of another world. 

Hitomi was her only child...her world...and she would see that necessary actions were taken to ensure her daughter's safety, to protect her from the taunting world, and to guard her from herself.

Blearily she looked to her husband, who extended his gentle arm and pulled her close. "Let's go to the sitting room, the Doctor wants to have a word with us about her...state."

An unmerciful scream filled the hallway, the resistance prolonged, and Mrs. Kanzaki pushed away from her husband and fell desperately to her knees at Takatori's feet. "Doctor...their hurting her."

"She has to be restrained." Hitomi's father said finding his confidence.

"Come with me." Dr. Takatori said turning away from her.

"Do something." Mrs. Kanzaki lashed out and grabbed a fistful of the physician's coat. "Make her stop crying." How often has she heard her mother crying when she was a child? Crying for a man...crying for freedom...In reality she was crying for sanity, but in her shambled home there was nothing for the four children, nothing but contempt for their deranged parent who prattled about the wonders of other worlds. She couldn't fix her mother, but she could fix her daughter.

"Mrs. Kanzaki I know you are upset-"

"Mom!!" Hitomi was yelling, her voice torn and harsh.

"I know you are upset but they will have her restrained in just a moment."

"Make her stop crying!"

"Alright, Mrs. Kanzaki." Dr. Takatori hushed flagging in the nurse from the sofa. "Please sedate Miss Hitomi."

**********

Hitomi recognized the nurse as she approached; she was frail and her pallor unmatched by even the whitest of snow. She had worked quietly along side of the doctor, and Hitomi had long suspected the woman new more about the inner workings of the institution than her silence led on. 

The men's hands clamped onto her arms like cold iron vices, and froze all movement with bruising force. Hitomi was out numbered, and terrified.

"Miss Hitomi?" The petite nurse asked.

Hitomi looked over the woman to her parent's bodies, their backs were turned to her and heading into the living room.

The nurse attached a small clear vial to a sterile siring and uncapped the needle. "Miss Hitomi, we're going to give you a small injection. I would like to ask that you cooperate, please."

As hard as it was to maintain, Hitomi refused to relinquish her life into the hands Dr. Takatori's naïve henchmen. She would fight...and she _would_ prevail. "No!"

**********

"Sir Chezar...will you be staying with us long?" The young maid asked bouncing from one wall to the other, her admiration for the handsome knight all but contained. Oh how she would love to be his wife!

"Long enough for me to speak with the king." Allen said examining the guest room. "What do you think Cellena?" He added with a smile. 

_Silence_.

"Cellena?" Allen turned to look at his younger sister, but the girl was nowhere to be seen. "Where did the young lady go that was in my company?" He demanded.

The maid tilted her head in confusion, had she been so distracted with Allen's physique that she failed to notice a second member of his party? "Young lady? My lord, I am dreadfully sorry, but when I came to get you...you were alone in the hall."

Was he? Why hadn't he been paying more attention! Allen rushed past the maid, spinning her around, and knocking her off her feet.

The maid blew a lock of hair off her face and leaned back against the wall. "Oh how my mother would love to see me in such an unladylike position. She'd roll over in her grave, she would." She grumbled. "Maybe that's why he never got married, such a fine looking man, yes, yes he is." She said agreeing with herself, and then throwing her hands up above her head she shouted, "He's a loon!"

Hanging back in the shadows, the light like a whip keeping the beast at bay stood Cellena seething in her unmitigated rage. "How dare you-…" She said trembling, tears trickling down her cheek. "How dare you call my brother such a thing!"

It would be the ditzy maid's greatest error... not taking notice of the girl in the darkness.

**********

It was just like him to rush in and try and be heroic...then find out that his plan was half-baked. Amano Susumu stood on the white pavement amongst a throng of western style buildings, a crinkled paper with the addresses he _was_ _going_ to write to (while he was abroad) out in his hands. Of course he didn't write to more than three of the twenty-something numbers, but he kept it just the same. 

Each one of his high school friends had scribbled down their information in the most impossible chicken-scratch he had yet to see matched. Amongst these were two female names: Yukari, and Hitomi, both written in Yukari's pink pen.

_"You're not just gonna write me! You're gonna call me _everyday_." Yukari laughed playfully swatting at Amano's arms. _

_Amano nodded and then looked passed his "_almost_" girlfriend to the girl his affections had long since been set on. During her disappearance he had in fact gotten closer to Yukari, but really, they had just become better friends. He had always loved, and always would, the dusty blonde daydreamer, not the confident auburn haired women who was so sure she had ensnared him. "Kanzaki-san, would you sign too? I'd like to write _you_ as well."_

_Hitomi snapped her head up, her mind had been somewhere else...a place she seemed to linger in. "M-_me_?" _

_Amano nodded, "Yes, please…"_

_"Oh…" Hitomi rubbed the back of her neck and laughed sheepishly. "Of course! I'd love to!"_

_Yukari glanced between the two, and ebbed forward to separate them. "Here Tomi! You can use _my_ pen!"_

_"Oh! Thank you!" Smiling brightly, Hitomi took the paper and sunk down onto her knees to use the sidewalk to write on. "7..1….2" She said biting her tongue between her lips as she finished. "Yes! Here you go!" Sitting back on her heels, Hitomi offered the piece of paper back up to Amano with both hands. "_Amano-kun_!"_

The image of her on the ground, smiling while she handed back to him the paper was burned into his mind. It was the first time she felt comfortable enough to use such an informal suffix on his name; it was a step in the right direction. He had been so excited to hear his name fall from her lips in such a way, the two had stood there starring at each other until a very awkward Yukari elbowed him in the rib. That very night though, he boarded an airplane and ventured off to the states. He didn't even have time to hear the full length of her magnificent tale. 

"Ah! 712-" He had found the address and was only blocks away.

**********

The sedative crashed into Hitomi's veins like thunder, immediately dulling her senses, she felt as though she were watching the last moments of her life from some distant astral plain. "Van...." She murmured reaching for a tall dull figure in her vision, he was looking at her, wanting her, but before she could grab him her head lulled back into a solid chest.

**********

Involuntarily Van's body stood erect off the stone bench residing in the freshly budding garden. She needed him... he could feel her... he could feel her reaching for him, her soft soiled hands caressing his cheeks with love and desperation, and then falling away into the darkness without a trace. She was closer this time, each time he sensed her she was closer to coming to him.

**********

Yukari starred at her hands, her eyes terribly dry, she felt as though she had cried all the tears of the world into a river of misery at her feet. Yes, yes... she love her friend, at times... she even protected her, but now there were doubts, and questions left unanswered.

Why did she become so vindictive? So angry? When did she become such an envious monster? And why did it take destroying her soul mate to console the angry woman she had become? Was she satisisfied? The answer to all these questions could be summed up into one answer: She had finally achieved what she had set out to keep from happening; she chased Amano right into the arms of Hitomi.

At first Yukari had buried her feelings under a thousand of excuses, a number of them starting out with: "Well, Amano likes Tomi better." It was true, but when Hitomi had confided that she knew Yukari was in love with Amano, she threw open every locked door and began to seek her senior's affections. Hitomi backed off, and everything was well.... until one day she noticed the unwavering glow about him after he had spoken to her friend, or the way he paid his undying attention to her every word about Gaea. Falling in Hitomi's golden shadow of perfect imperfection killed her; she had never played second to her, and couldn't start now that she had been given 'permission' to pursue her love interest.

Whose fault was it really? She had finally gotten Amano to consent to a date the night before he left, and she saw him off at the airport with a passionate kiss and after that followed a thousand phone calls and letters. Yet she still felt inadequate... As though he had only said yes to keep the waters tranquil; peaceful until he had yelled at her over her underhanded ways.

"I hate him..." She cried bitterly standing up and stomping down the bleachers to the track field. 

Yukari Uchida screamed as fiery tears of anger and revenge fell unrestrained down her cheeks. "I hate you Hitomi!" Her words echoed across the field, and faded into darkness.

**********

Hitomi was floating in nothing, the ink like blackness running over her limp arms. She had fought it.... she had lost... and now she was in her unconsciousness... a deep state of being she hadn't touched since the doppelganger at Prince Sheid's prison. 

The darkness settled around her, leaving Hitomi suspended over what could have been the floor, but for all her sense knew, could also be the ceiling, the walls, or a thick bottomless pit.

Unable to refrain, Hitomi looked around. "Where am I?" She whispered, her voice echoing out and returning to shake her body. "Is any one out there?"

Hitomi knew well, though she had not practiced her art since she came back from Gaea, that the space she existed in could not be held by just one person. It took two to reach such a black dead stillness in a human soul that was washed with so many vibrant colors. It was reserved for the future, the moments before and just after death had been achieved to reflect upon the past and recall the details required to tell an accurate fortune. It was the power she tapped to use her tarot.

For a moment she toyed with the idea that maybe the overwhelming shadows was just the color her soul had become, but quickly she dismissed that as a momentary lapse of sanity, or just her becoming a cliché manic depressant. She knew were she was... she was stuck... and not alone.

The pendant!

It wasn't necessary to close her eyes to retrieve the image of the pendant, the very moment she focused on the ornament she could hear it breaking the air as it swayed in time with her heart beat. A feeling so natural it transcended her being to the generations of woman before her, specifically her grandmother standing gracefully in her sakura blossom festival kimono. The one she wore when she was spirited away.

"Grandma..." She smiled, but it was only a vague memory impressed upon Gaea and Earth's timeline, something unique to both worlds at the same moment. But what did that have to do with where she was being held? It didn't, but it was something she found comforting, the old woman's words of wisdom had carried her when she felt nearly broken, and sustained her until the first confrontation with the doctor.

Thrusting her hand forward took all of her physical energy left on reserve, and with the gesture the projection of the necklace flew wildly about in a glittering circle. 

Who was out there? Hitomi was going to find out.

**********

Allen came to a halt just outside the corridor, his eyes darting from one side to the other. "Cellena? Cellena!?" No one was there.

He couldn't wait in one spot hoping his hapless sister would find him, or possibly find the blunt end of a certain mal-tempered King's sword. He would have to locate her and do it now, now while he was still in control.

**********

Another breeze blew through the trees; the intoxicating smell of blossoms was sickly sweet. Van rubbed his eyes, his chest tight. Maybe he should take a vacation, a much needed rest...Perhaps, Van was better off leaving his kingdom in the hands of a more capable lord, or joining leadership under the King Shied. The prepubescent ruler was wise beyond his years already, leaps and bounds ahead of Van everyday, Van a dirty boy who was now climbed from out of the ashes of his kingdom, tattered and hardened.

"Cellena!" It was a voice in the distance.

Could he not escape this? "Allen." Van gave a woeful glance to Escaflowne, a silent guardian over his brother's shrine. 

Allen stopped short of Van, his eyes tapering into a glare. "Have you seen my sister?"

"Are you implying that you..._lost_ her?" Van snarled; his teeth bore like a wild animal. 

**********

Not even the maid's futile screams could drone out Cellena's mad gales of laughter.

**********

The knight looked down his nose at the challenging boy king; he was nothing more than a child in his father's clothing, a detestable dress up. "I implied nothing."

Carried on a string of wind, was the faint sound of distress, a woman screaming the last pleas of her life. "Not since I was inside." Together, they ran back to the heart of Fanelia. 

"You take that side, I'll take this way!" Van directed. "We'll reconvene after a thorough sweep has been done!"

Allen sneered and without missing a step, sped towards where he believed to find his sister. He felt it in his heart; he could taste it in the saliva, the thickening mucus of dread.

**********

The room was empty, the air thick and moist with the smell of fresh death. It was disgustingly ripe, and the tang assaulted Allen the moment he touched the delicately carved doorknob. 

A corpse was nothing new to a man who had seen a hundred battles, to a knight who had lost his family. Allen Chezar inhaled the tainted oxygen, and pressed forward...knowing very well what he would find.

**********

The sound of an ambulance whizzed by, leaving Mrs. Kanzaki sitting on the stairs to her home in tears. 

"Mrs. Kanzaki? Hitomi!?" Amano leapt up the steps four at a time, and through the door. The place was empty, the hall was in disarray. Amano turned to Mrs. Kanzaki, her body shivering in the cool night air.

"My baby…" She wailed.

"What happened?" He prodded the anxiety in his body overwhelming.

"The hospital...they took her...Oh God."

Amano's face paled, and bile rose in his throat_. The Emergency Room? Hitomi! _

**********

Taking the remainder of the soiled clothes in his arms, Allen wrapped the garments in his night shirt and cast a forlorn look at his Cellena. His baby sister, she was laughing on the bed, blood still dried to her naked cream colored skin. His heart was breaking; he could feel the upset rolling in his chest like thunder.

Cellena tilted her head up, and locked her eyes with her brother's; she was still raving, but silently now. Her lips moving quickly, the only sound being the soft air passing between them. 

Framing her body like a panoramic scene of gore, those exact words were written in childish scrawl on the wall._ Hitomi come and play, Hitomi come and play, Hitomi come and play, Hitomi come and play._

**~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~**

**TBC...Next Chapter**: "Hitomi, Come and Play_"_

**~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~?~~~~~?~~~~~?~~~**


	8. 07 Hitomi, Come and Play

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**Make** _me_ **Real** 0_7 _**By R_eddAlice  
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Correction... (embarrassed I was told that Allan's son's name is spelt CHID! And his sister is spelt Celena. For the sake of my mind, I will continue to spell the characters the way I have in past chapters 'cept for maybe Chid...but I wanted to give deep thanks to my longest reviewer ever, and the detail and honesty they gave me. Thank you Shinji Ikari!!!)  
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**Chapter 0_7_:**

_"Hitomi, come and play." _

-----------

Amano's sneakers kicked up dirt, he hadn't ran this much since he was a senior in high school, and his abs, hips, and thighs protested the exercise copiously. However, he wasn't going let the condition of his body stop him, no one in this or any other world could stop him. Except maybe one, but that was beyond his knowledge!

He used the hospital door to stop himself, and then sagged against the glass in pain. Amano rested his head on the window and gazed inside, the lobby was sparse, and empty, the only being an old nurse picking up a child's toy by a television in the corner.

To get her attention, he yelled, but when that proved fruitless he banged his fists on the bulletproof surface until the door threatened to fall from its tracks.

"Young man!" The nurse scolded through the door. "You can't be here, this is the visitor's office lobby, and if it's an emergency go to the 'e-m-e-r-g-a-n-c-y'...'e-n-t-e-r-a-n-c-e.' I am not accepting visitors through this access-way. I apologize for the inconvenience."

"It is an emergency, and I don't want to go around."

The nurse eyes Amano's heaving chest skeptically, then pressed a small white button off to the left, and the door whooshed open. "What kind of emergency do you have?" She asked.

"Kanzaki Hitomi! What room?"

"I'm sorry, no visitors past 9 pm unless your immediate family." The nurse repeated exasperated.

Amano shook his head, "No..."

"I'm sorry but unless you are imm-"

"I'm her husband, what room?"

The skepticism never ended, the old woman quirked a wool-haired eyebrow and frowned, the lines of her face creasing deeper. "Are you lying to me, son?"

Amano gave his best Boy-Scout-Of-Japan look, virginal monk's word of honor. "No ma'am. We've been married for one month, and I was just called at work that she was hospitalized. Where is she?" His conscious reeled, he hadn't told this many lies since... well never.

Again, the old nurse frowned. "Fine, but stop your double-dealing, lying doesn't suite you in the least! I'll check."

"Thank you!" Amano bowed gratefully, his eyes disappearing behind an appreciative and charming grin.

-----------

Van laid his head down, his eyes bleary, and not quite awake. Had he fallen asleep? Why was his heart beating like a fleet of marching guymelefs through the Antartician ice fields?

His dreams were obsessed and becoming depraved. He seemed to be focusing on Hitomi, feeling her as if she was right next to him, but when he turned she was gone. His only company the chilled air of loneliness. Foreign scenes were being fed to him, when he woke his body was in an upset, but he couldn't remember why. The mere thing left to him being a few scarce images he saw through someone else's eyes.

Van looked across his study, his mind wandering back to a chaotic time when his life was being torn apart... yet then, his existence felt full. He was sitting behind a hand crafted desk of the darkest wood from a near by forest of Fanelia, it seemed wrong to be so domesticated. Would he grow old behind this chuck of wood?

There was an instance when he kissed the sky, Hitomi wrapped aside in one arm, the other hand steering the reigns of a God. That moment wasn't long ago, but it appeared so distant now, now that he was king, now that She was haunting his dreams leaving his skin hot.

"Van...sama." His study door creaked open, the sound forcing his hair on end. Standing with her hands clasped in front of her night gown, stood his small cat friend, her hair tucked behind her ears, and her fingers twisting in the fabric of her clothes.

"Merle? It's late."

Merle shook her head and stepped in, closing the door quietly behind her. "I can't sleep, I'm scared."

Van stood up, his brow furled. "Why?"

"I'm having bad dreams... really bad... bad dreams."

The king ran a hand through his tousled black hair, "About?"

"Bad dreams..." Merle said walking and shaking her head, her eyes were half closed. Stopping before Van, Merle stifled a sniffle. "Things are going so wrong, bad bad things are happening. Make them stop, Van, help me..."

Startled Van grabbed her thin arms; she had never called him just Van. Who was this? "Merle? What's wrong?"

Merle lifted her head to give Van a startled look, blinking away the tears that had been violently brimming. "Van-sama?" Merle whispered confused.

-----------

Amano starred through the small window into Hitomi's room. Under her father's snoring head, Hitomi was sleeping, unconscious. The lime colored light of the emergency room was sickening, its ghastly glow highlighting her pale skin, and swollen face, making the veins under her flesh visible. It made him ill to see, it was grotesque, yet he could scarcely pull his eyes from the scene.

Inhaling deeply, he pushed open the door as quietly as he could, but God would have him sneaking around in such a manor. Mr. Kanzaki ripped out of his chair, his eyes wide and bewildered. "Who's there, what? Hitomi?" He looked down at his daughter, and then finally to the intruder. "Who are you?"

Amano bowed deeply, "Mr. Kanzaki, my name is Amano, I'm a friend of Hitomi's from school."

"A boy? Hitomi isn't taking visitors, she's very sick you know, and I don't want her sorting with the likes of boys."

Amano felt a nerve in his lip twitch, "I'm very concerned for her. Please, let me stay."

"No." The older man hissed in a whispered. "She's very ill, physically and mentally, please leave or I will call security. I don't know how you got in here, but go out the same way."

"She's not mentally ill." Amano defended, standing up to his full height proudly. He dwarfed Hitomi's father by several inches, and hoped that it would impress upon Mr. Kanzaki that he needed to listen.

"You're young, you're foolish, and you know nothing. Go!"

"I know she says she went to Gaea! That while she was missing, she went to Gaea; she went to a different world! I believe her. I _saw_ her get taken away by a boy with black hair!" _After we were attacked by a dragon... _" I saw it, and I am not crazy. She's not either."

Mr. Kanzaki bared his teeth like a wild beast. "What would you know? Illness runs through her mother's side of the family! This is the last time I am going to warn you! Leave!"

Amano shifted a small look back towards the door, and then drove forward passed Hitomi's father to the side of her bed. He took Hitomi's right hand, which had been dangling off the edge of the mattress, and held it. Talking to her under his breath, he could feel her pulse in her wrist where his fingers rested, and in his mind he remember the day back in the school infirmary.

One. Bud-duh

-----------

_I'm lost... so lost... everything is so dark...so bleak... everything is gray..._

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Two. Bud-duh

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Dark... These dreams... are empty...where was the color? Oh, that's right... I can't dream color. 

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Three. Bud-duh

-----------

But why is it empty here? Why is it so vacant? It shouldn't be. No, no it shouldn't be. Am I awake? 

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Four. Bud-duh

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_Am I awake in this void? Up. Black. Down. Black. I'm blanketed here._

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Five. Bud-duh

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I hear someone... very far away. "Hello? Hello? Hey! I'm here! I'm right here!" 

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Six. Buh-duh

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_"I'm Alone here! Help! Van? Amano? Dad? MOM!" I'm all alone here... "Can anyone hear me!" I'm all alone... "Mommy... Daddy... Help me..." I'm all-alone in this darkness... "Gramma... save me..." I'm all alone... or am I?_ _"Van!? Is that you?" Something is there... "Stop that. Come out. I know you, whoever you _are_, are there!" I'm so scared... "Please, this isn't funny!" Who is it? Who's there... This feeling... it's so strong... so dreadful... and so powerful. Maliciousness, cruel and potent... Anger... vivid waves of it... I feel you, whoever you are. "Van! Van!? Help me!" I hear someone close. Someone right next to me. What is this noise? It hurts my head! What is this sound! It's me. _I'm_ screaming. I can't stop screaming._

-----------

__Four. The shrieking noise that ripped from Hitomi's mouth startled Amano to the point of falling back against the hospital wall. "Hitomi!" She was screaming like a child, a terrified little girl, and it made Amano's blood turn to ice. "Hitomi!"

In his fear for her, he didn't notice nurses fill the room, or Mr. Kanzaki flanked by security guards, and his shivering wife.

-----------

He had watched her for several minutes, his eyes crystal shards in his head. Was this to be the beginning of a long road of obstacles?

Allen locked the bedroom door as he left, a burden strapped to his back; leaving his younger sibling sprawled asleep on the bed. He couldn't foresee the future, not like the only other woman who preoccupied his mind, but he new this, whatever _this _was, was going to be difficult.

-----------

"This is ridiculous!"

Mere feet from Hitomi, Amano was escorted from the room by hospital security and turned over to the police for breaking hospital policy, stalking, and possible kidnapping charges. It didn't help that he couldn't find his passport, or any valid form of ID, or that his parents had relocated again to Okinawa and were on an ocean cruise to take a vacation from all things technological and time consuming.  
"I'm not a stalker!" Amano protested, his voice a shrill rasp from the continuing interrogation. "I want to leave, please."

"Sure thing, as soon as we contact a relative of yours who can positively ID you."

"You have got to be kidding."

"Why would I be kidding?"

"My parents are on a cruise, I'm an only child, my Uncle Nobu is dead, and my parents bought my grandparents a villa off the coast of France. Who could _possibly _ID me?"

The officer smile became condescending, "A cell can be very accommodating."

-----------

A jittery maid brought Van and Merle tea in the cold dinning hall. "Sire, muh-lady..." She bowed, nearly dropping a glass pitcher, and scurried down the hall into the night.

Merle watched with wide eyed, why was the lady so scared? Was she afraid of Van? She fixed her Lord with her observations and monological questions. Questions she could never ask him.

Van was sitting slumped in his chair; his gaze was watching the steam rise from his cup, his expression soft and concerned. Perhaps even exhausted? What was going on? When she woke up in the King's office, she had been startled and crying, and Van offered her tea to calm her nerves before he sent her back off to bed. Years ago, the young King wouldn't have been concerned with things like that, Merle had a nurse-maid to do such things, and make up for the family she had been snatched up from at infancy.

_You look like you hurt, Van-sama. You look so hurt. Please be okay. Why have you been so moody? Are you stressed? If you tired of being king, give the kingdom to King Chid. We can go east to the big mountains, and live there with normal people. Small villages, normal people... _She hungered for the normalcy she had briefly touched upon when Fanelia had burned, and she had escaped her nurse to traverse the mountain in search of her King. Before gruff guards had picked her up, she had been starved, and once in their custody beaten... but before they had laid a hand on her she had tasted wild fruit native to where she had been born. Merle had chatted with travelers and passed through the smaller villages under Van's rule. She looked like everyone, and everyone looked like her, young men even smiled in her direction, and naively she had turned up her tail, but even that didn't sour the experience. If Van's father, the late king of Fanelia, hadn't swept her up as a gift and friend for his son, she would have known all of those strangers. She would have been a stranger, and never met Van. Towards the end of her journey, Merle had isolated herself from Fanelia citizens, ashamed of her treacherous thoughts. She loved the king she worshipped and the life he had given her, and loathed herself for her short-lived lechery.

When Van had plucked her off that horse, and tended to her wounds in Austoria, she realized that her bastard fantasies had been ill gotten. How could she have done such horrible things, such as enjoy her expedition, when her savior was in turmoil? She owed him so much. He who had protected her from the mob of angry men so long ago... He who saved her...

After the girl from the mystic moon left, Van had settled down into an existence befitting of a king. He led the reconstruction of his kingdom, worked till his sweat turned to blood, and seemed satisfied. Time trickled by like a cool creak over rocks, and everything grew to be effortless and ordinary. Only in the past couple of days had cracks begun to surface, and Merle felt less than secure. She had a feeling Van felt similar, that the wilder of the Dragon smelt change in the air. The last thing she wanted was change! She had been finally content! No war, no Hitomi, no fighting, no psycho melodramatic gender benders to wreak havoc... (wait! "Van-sama..." She whispered watching his face change with thought.

Van looked up to see her surveying him, "Yes, Merle? Are you feeling better now?"

She nodded somberly; he was thinking about _her_, and Merle put her life on it Hitomi didn't even cast a moment's breath in their direction, or _his_... "I'm worried, Van-sama, you don't look so good. Are you still having bad dreams? Are they about Hitomi?" She couldn't refrain, and regretted her lack of discipline immediately.

His eyes went cold. "I'm fine." He dismissed in something like a hiss. Van stood up, leaving his drink untouched. "Finish your tea and go to bed."

Stunned by his belligerence, Merle stared after him with an open mouth.

-----------

_Hitomi swung around in circles looking in each direction before her, her fear a burning knot of bile in her throat and she screamed. The blackness was fading and in the dusky veil she could see something materializing. A woman? A girl? In such strange clothing! Who? Hitomi couldn't stop screaming._

_She choked and slumped down to her knees, her cries coming out garbled. Hitomi coughed and blood gurgled from her lips and oozed down her chin into her shaking hands. "Someone..." She gagged. _

_Someone was there, a woman's laughter sweeping Hitomi up in a gale of clamor. "Stop it!" Blood flowed from between her gaping mouth, a river of red, into huge pools of oily liquid around her body, spilling down her breasts and stomach._

_Retching, she couldn't cry out, she could only allow fat tears to roll down her cheek and swim amongst the coppery juices that spewed from her throat. "Ba... Bah...Bahn..." She heaved._

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Again, and again! In his resting hours Van would fling himself from his covers enraged, or crying. Van tore up from his sleep, the color red staining his vision.

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Hitomi felt the rush of blood, the sound in her head as if savages were beating the living shit out of her eardrum like some sacred instrument used to wake the dead. And wake the dead it did. Everything was fuzzy, and blurring, and her eyes hadn't even peeled open yet.

"She's waking up now, she should probably stay her a couple of days to rest and to make sure none of the medications we gave her will react poorly to the injection she was given by- ah... one Dr. Takatori."

"Yes bu-"

"Don't concern yourself Mr. Kanzaki, your Brother-in-law Maddox and I were pals all through school in New York. I talked to him on the phone, and he's brought me up to speed on what's going on as far as we know, and I promise I'll take personal care of her. The hospital is more than capable of caring for her."

"I suppose so, Doctor. But-"

"No buts, Ms. I will see to it she is well cared for, so go home and take care of yourselves. I don't want to be putting your _whole_ family up here."

"It's all my fault, I-"

"Now _ma'am_, _please_. None of that here! Go home. I will see to it that you're escorted and I will call you late tomorrow afternoon, or if anything notable happens."

Hitomi wouldn't open her eyes if she could to watch her parents pushed out the door, rather she lay awake and still for several hours, her body paralyzed and numb.

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The officers had left Amano in the dim light of his cell, everything was gray, and toneless, and he felt the mood of his atmosphere nipping at him.

By the very nature gifted to him at birth, Amano was an optimist, and when his semi-passive nature took a back seat to that optimism, he could be quite the bright-eyed-bushy-tailed monster. However thus far Amano had been less than exceptional. His meeting with Yukari, seeing Hitomi...

Hitomi surrounded by a maelstrom of negativity, her body was like an empty sheath. Hitomi a ghost! And now she was lying in a hospital bed, her face swollen and blotchy, a breathing tube crammed down her throat, and I.V. sprouting from her arm like branches. He would carry the memory forever.

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_Hitomi_...

Her name sounded like a cool autumn whisper that traversed her flesh, each tiny hair on her neck and arms standing abruptly on end.

_Hitomi_... It was a woman, a soft and haunted sound of someone calling her.

_Hitomi_... The syllables were drawn out softly, and longingly, resting on the 'i' and teasing through the rest of her forename.

_Hitomi_... _Come to me_...

"Come where?" Hitomi asked.

_Hitomi... Come to me..._

"Where? Where are to me...

"Where?" She pleaded, her mouth dry.

_Hitomi... I want you._

"What do you want from me?"

_I want you... Hitomi...I want you to come to me._

"Why?"

_Hitomi... I want you to come to me. I want you..._

"Come where?" Like the hair on her arms and neck, Hitomi felt her senses peak drastically, making her head ache. That someone? Was she speaking to her? Or was she falling over the edge faster than she had thought.

"Come play with me."

Hitomi's eyes split open. Nothing. From side to side she looked, horrified at the thought of someone sneaking up on her in her vulnerable state, but no one was there. She was alone, like before in her dream. Partially relaxing back into her pillow, Hitomi's eyes dropped to the blanket, and her breath yanked from her lungs.

Her thin blanket was severely wrinkled at the end of the bed, crumpled into impressions of fists, rusty colored splotches where fingers had been pulling her blanket from her bed.

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Like the body falling and fading into the shadows, Allen felt his heart sinking deep into the black chasm. Together they disappeared into the darkness.

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**TBC**... "_The Dark Halls Between…_"__

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Ending Note: Hey... MMR has been up for over a year! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE! - Ahem... I did this whole chapter in two week ends. Working in a chocolate factory to peddle money for school, and I'm trying harder than ever to give you your stories. So keep me posted, review, and talk with me! I love your encouragement. And... THANKS to everyone who has stuck by me.


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